Grammy's Commentary

Disclaimer: Forgive me, because I started this blog high. And thus, my attention span eventually diminished by the 3rd hour? of this damn Awards Ceremony.

8:00 So... who's ready to go GaGa for Grammys...?? Why is there a screeching crazy black man trying to scare me onstage?

8:02 GaGa looks like a Batman's sidekick Robin. But dressed as a Lucky Charm / Transvestite with Christina Aguilera hair circa her "Dirty" album days.

8:03 Am i high or am i really gonna turn into a monster like this guy says?!!?

8:04 Oh Schnapps! Elton John is onstage and all GaGa-ed out!!

8:06 Lady Gaga with Elton John on their pianos is SO FUCKIN AWESOME. "Your Song" / "Speechless" mash-up is totally made of WIN!

8:09 Hmm... Stephen Colbert? I dunno about this.... a few funny moments but is he really fit to host a music show?

8:11 WTF is this an Ipad commercial? Song of the Year goes to...

8:13 Single Ladies WINS! They must have heard about that whole Kanye VMA drama.

8:15 Green Day performs with the cast of American Idiot.

8:17 Ok I'm just gonna put it out there. Doesn't Green Day's drummer look like the lead singer of Rascal Flatts?

8:18 Who knew women could sing Green Days songs better than them?

8:20 There's gonna be a tribute to MJ and its in 3-D. Really!?

8:24 Kristen Bell... What is up with that stewardess outfit gone wrong?

8:26 Country Album goes to Taylor Swift. Like there was any question. That dress looks pretty until u see the back.

8:27 Simon Baker calls Destinys Child, Destinys Children. Hee..

8:30 Beyonce is performing as Commando Barbie with Toy Soldiers and covers Alanis Morisette's "You Oughta Know." Mashups tonight are made of win!

8:39 Seal introduces Pink.

8:41 Sure enough she sings hanging from the ceiling again. Is anyone else terrified that there's no harness?! Like at all?!

8:44 Pink should really just start her own Cirque Du Soleil show in Vegas with her own music and everything. Pink, call me if u want a producer.

8:46 Zac Brown Band wins Best New Artist. Well adios and via condios!!

8:54 Miley Cyrus introduces BEP (Black Eyed Peas). 2 things I despise about mainstream music.

8:57 I got a feeling... the Black Eyed Peas don't have a very good wardrobe stylist.

9:05 Jonas Brothers. AHHHH ... OMG!!!! Ahhh.!!!! (fake screams) introduces Lady Antebellum. Ahhh!! OMG!! Ahhh (real screams) because i heart Lady A.

9:08 "Need You Now" would make the best karaoke song when you're drunk & heartbroken ("...its a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and i need u now....")

9:10 Comedy Album goes to Stephen Colbert. He thanks Jesus and blah blah... he's just not doing it for me. I'm not laughing at all.

9:18 I got a feeling.... Record of the Year is gonna go to TSwift. WHoa! I'm totally wrong! Kings of Leon finally win an award!!! AND they're drunk! Niice...

9:20 Iron Man's RDJ is always hot. He introduces his buddy Jaime Foxx, T-Pain, and their band the Auto-Tuners. (sarcasm. not a real band.)

9:25 Slash comes out on stage and I'm finally interested.

9:26 Justin Bieber and Ke$ha cant read a teleprompter to save their lives.

9:33 Best Rock Album goes to Green Day. Yeah, i got nothin'.

9:36 Zac Brown Band harmonizing America the Beautiful like they're auditioning for Glee.

9:45 Ryan Seacrest... This isnt the E channel or Idol. GO AWAY!

9:48 Stevie Nicks joins TSwift and finally! Someone able to reveal TSwift ISNT PERFECT!! I was starting to believe she was a talented robot.

9:50 I'm feeling this remix of You Belong With Me.

9:52 I'm putting on my 3-D glasses.

9:54 Hurry up already Lionel!

9:58 I'm not sure I see much from this 3-d show but if the celebrities are wearing them, then I will too.

9:59 Jennifer Hudson, Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Usher, and Carrie Underwood sing along with another MJ
track.

10:00 MJs kids accept his lifetime achievement award. Haven't i seen this already!?!?

10:09 BON JOVI!!!!

10:11 I envy Jennifer Nettles with her cute hair, cute clothes, and ability to sing love songs with cute men.

10:15 ::SINGING:: (at the top of my lungs) Ohhhh! Living on a Prayer...!!

10:18 Jigga, Rihanna, and Kanye win for Run This Town, but without Kanye, the speech is forgettable!

10:24 Learnin some Creole with Go-To Haitian Guy, Wyclef Jean

10:26 Andre Bocelli could sing in Pig Latin and it would sound deeply meaningful.

10:30 Mary J Blige looks like a mermaid in that sparkly blue contraption she's wearing.

10:35 Unnecessarily being told about Grammy Awards history.

10:40 Adam Sandler comes out and i look back at the television.

10:43 I think there's a future for me as a fiddler. There's been one in almost EVERY performance!

10:46 Lea Michele presents with Ricky Martin!?!?!!?

10:47 Beyonce wins Best Female Pop Vocal and she thanks her hubby, Jigga. Say it with me.....Awww!!!!!

10:58 Maxwell sings with Roberta Flack. Where is the love....??? I LOVE THIS SONG!

11:03 Time to pay homage to Les Paul featuring Jeff Beck. I really wish I learned guitar at like the age of 2.

11:12 Quentin Tarantino introduces Eminem, Drake, Lil Wayne and Travis Barker as Glorious Basterds. That's cool, right?

11:16 It must be. TSwift is even trying to rap along.

11:18 I realize how much I miss the old Eminem.

11:25 John Legend and Santana present Album of the Year. And it goes to.... TSwift! She screams! She jumps up and down in that god awful dress with a back cut that would give Tim Gunn nightmares. Wow, she really is STILL surprised that she won.


...and THATS ALL FOLKS!