Monday, August 18, 2008

The Hills Season Premiere!! 8.18.08

Ok, so I've been following my ultimate reality heroine Lauren Conrad for quite some time now. From Laguna Beach to Hollywood Hills...I've witnessed the cute, but flawed not meant to be Stephen years, the cute, but flawed not meant to be Jason years, and the recent cute, but (again) flawed not meant to be Brody season. CAN WE PLEASE find this poor girl a decent, Meant To Be boy?! Her life is starting to imitate my own! Let's see... I guess the best way to describe this season opener is how the 3 girls reacted to the question "how to describe this season." They all hesitated and accordingly said 3 unconnected answers. In an essence, that is how I felt about this first episode. Here's why...

I don't care (and have never cared) what anyone says.... to me, "the Drama is Real." Or at least, I felt it, wished it, and forcefully believed it to be so--- up until now. My once borderline scripted soap still had some aspects that made emotions and connections seem real even if dialogue wasn't. But after this first episode, I have to admit that some of the scenes just felt a little bit too contrived. What happened to the reality show that no matter how publicly fake it was, I still fought hard to believe it was real?! Doug and Frankie are suddenly best buds and wear matching Laker jerseys?! Where the hell was Brody? Is this a weak attempt at a metaphor by using Doug as a visual replacement for Brody? If it is, it's almost an insult to audience members like me who are still rooting for a real significant romance for Lauren. Plus! It isn't even entertaining at all! Doug was a TOTAL BORE. I guess we're supposed to be more interested when we find out that Stephanie Pratt goes behind Lauren's back and goes out on a date with him. Perhaps. But if people like me don't like and more importantly, don't care about him in this first episode, why would it matter that he's seeing Stephanie?! We already KNOW he's not right for Lauren! and let's not kid ourselves... Lauren is the only reason this show has lasted for so long. She's the character most girls identify with. She's the reason we watch.

On a completely opposite level is the supposed new Speidi controversy. OOOoooH... Heidi's sister (who totally needed that LA makeover) wants to move in with the newly made-up couple. BIG EFFIN DEAL. I could care less. Didn't Heidi and Spencer say that they didn't wanna sign on for another season because it's not very glamorous or something to be on a reality show? Ugh this bit was soooo boring, id rather hear about what went down at Bolthouse when Heidi supposedly got in "big trouble." Come on, if its all fake anyway, let the audience see her get FIRED. Oh look, I'm done with this insignificant portion of the show already. 

Okay, Audrina's Birthday party. First of all... I think its rather interesting that everytime Audrina has friends on the show, they make it seem like these people are from another planet. Giant earplugs, Neon colored mohawks, Justin Bobby! These people exist in Beverly Hills?!!? With that said, I really do appreciate her presence and the presence of her friends on this show! Because it completely exposes the very real fact that not everyone in the world is as rich, white, and mainstream as Lauren (god help her) and all of her other friends. 

I must admit that the part of the show with the most REALITY value was Lo and Audrina's not so peppy "pep talk." I have truly loved Lo since Laguna Beach days and though I understand how she can easily be perceived as "bitchy," I also know she just doesn't bullshit with people. Ahhh... two traits I can identify with. So maybe I'm a little biased but as much as I do like Audrina, the "we can never be friends" line doesn't exactly make her look like the bigger person. Neither does that shot of her taking her top off in the pool with Justin Bobby in the previews. One can only wait and see what other crap she'll take from that ruggedly handsome, burping, rebel withOUT a cause. 

Thrilling. Romance. and what did Lauren say as her answer to the word describing this season? I already forgot. Hopefully the following episodes will be better otherwise, I may start a petition for a spinoff starring Frankie-- who is the show's unexpected philosopher. LOL... the guy always finds himself asking the superficially rhetorical questions of the show. It's like hearing Meredith Grey or Lucas Scott's voiceover but on a reality show, thereby making it as I said before, superficially rhetorical. And yet, I still watch.

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