Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One Tree Hill S7E1 Review: Life without Pucas Isn't Sooo Bad

FOREWORD: One Tree Hill without Peyton and Lucas (aka Pucas as in Puke-Ass) is actually not that much different than one would expect. Still has catchy background music. Still has pretty people. Still has Dan Scott being weird. In case u missed it or just wanna know what I think ::snicker:: here's a short recap of last night's season opener.

Nice to see Haley James singing again. That opening number was in *true* OTH fashion. No offense Kate Voegele, but Haley James is our first singer/songwriter love. Unfortunately, the label is about to be closed down since Peyton left, they have one hit record on the wall (Mia Catalano), and Haley is having difficulties juggling rock star and mom status. ::shakes head:: Peyton...that bitch ruins everything, even from off the show. Anyhow, the relationship between Haley and Jamie has always been so warm, believable, and awesome. Probably one of the only reasons I still watch the show is the Scott family dynamic. ::smile:: Jamie's 7 now btw. And still has AWESOME birthday parties. [More on his bday presents below...]

Nathan, Nathan, Nathan... U. Look. Good. Sooo good in fact, that a random girl is at ur son's bday party, takes a picture with u, and says its nice to see u again. The look on your face means you clearly don't remember her. Hmmm... if I had the experience of a past, psycho nanny attacking my wife and trying to seduce me, I'd get security on this bitch's ass already! Nathan... So hot, and yet so vapid sometimes. [I do love the idea of him promoting bodyspray though. Hee. And there's a wonderful cut to Mouth actually using the body spray!] So we find that the mysterious blonde is later revealed to claim she slept with Nathan while on the road and the whore wants to go public.

Nathan finds out about this at 4:30 in the morning, via his sports agent--new regular character, Clayton. So far, all I can muster about this new guy is that he sleeps around, has the hots for another new regular, Haley's sister Quinn (more on her in a sec), and that he needs to send flowers somewhere... which is probably related to the fact that he doesn't believe in love. There's a new idea! So...moody, angst-filled, emotional baggage guy replacement for Lucas... Check! Back to Quinn, who is one of Haley's many sisters we have yet to meet until the end of this show. Apparently, she's always been the cool girl. Successful photographer, smart, knows her shit, plays football, has had a great marriage...blah blah blah. But we find out she's actually left her husband for awhile now. Because he's not the same man she fell in love with. And, she didn't sign up to spend her life sleeping next to a stranger. Herego... an always questioning, could have so much potential, but is constantly doubting life Peyton replacement... Check! See! we've already replaced the void of Pucas within the first episode of the season!

Meanwhile, Brooke spends a lot of time in this episode moping about and missing Julian. Didn't really like that much. She's hell bent on staying in Tree Hill for reasons Julian can't figure out. [And neither can I.] I mean, come on, even Pucas left. But I'm glad to have Brooke on the show. She really has been, is, will forever be my favorite. FLASHBACK: Brulian's last night on a beach, Brooke tells Julian she's left him closet space back at home signaling her improvement on the long-term relationship skills. Except he tells her he's going away again for 8 months to do a movie in New Zealand. [LOL... who does he think he is!? Peter Jackson with LOTR?! Oh Julian u make me laugh.] Brooke tells him he should go and the camera pans back to where Brooke was standing on the sand to reveal what she wrote with her toes in the sand: "Marry Me." [Whaaat! Really!? She's THAT MUCH in love?!! I call bullshit. But what do I know? I was an devoted Brucas fan for years till finally deciding Lucas was a pansy.] Anyway... back to the present and at Jamie's bday bash. Due to some of Jamie's super human bday wishing powers, Julian arrives! [Guess he's not Peter Jackson material after all.] Later that night on yet another walk on the beach, Brooke mentions that Peyton used to say, "People always leave. Who knew she was talking about her stupid ass." *BEST LINE OF THE NIGHT.* Until its followed by Julian wanting to go skinny dipping and asks Brooke, "Are you coming or what?" And she replies, "That's what she said." Before joining him. Oh Brooke, I heart you. SO SO MUCH. After some post skinny dipping coitus, Julian tells Brooke that he's decided not to do the movie after all, because although it's a lucrative movie, its not an important one. [whoa! filmmaker with values?! whaat?!] And so... that whole storyline was sort of... pointless and unnecessary since Julian is coming back and now Brooke is scared that their honeymoon phase is truly over due to the fact they'll have to see each other all the time.

OTHER CHARACTERS (with too little going on or I simply don't care about)

Mouth wants to kick out Skillz because he wants to move forward with Millie. She's now pretty much blossomed into the new, decisive, sharp-shooting executive at Clothes Over Bros. She gives orders, doesn't take foam in her coffee, but still reminds poor halfwit assistants to have fun at their otherwise slave-like jobs. Because you know, she's Millie. Back to Mouth who walks around naked in his apartment in an effort to really make Skillz want to leave. But Skillz is awesome. And gives Mouth a taste of his own medicine by getting naked himself. They eventually have a heart to heart, long enough for Millie to come home and witness them saying "I love you" to each other stark naked in the kitchen. Niice. In a no-homo kinda way. Where are the other two guys that hang out on their couch and play video games all the time?! Dan isn't dead. I call bullshit on this "heart condition" the Scott men supposedly have! I really wished Dan left with Pucas. Instead, he hosts a late night, self-help, culty tv show in which he talks about redemption. But really, who cares? No sign of Deb, or Whitey, or Karen, or Mia, or Chase... Hmm... Budget cuts??

BONUS: Jamie's BDAY Presents! Brooke gave him his annual best godson check with plenty of zeroes. Aunt Quinn gave him a fake bday cake, before smashing his face into it. Haley's gift is the party, I guess. Nathan got him a Jerry Rice jersey. Nathan's sports agent gets him the actual Jerry Rice. [who has to resort to a blocking position despite his football star status.] Lucas sends him his old, cruddy basketball complete with a note explaining it was his best friend before he met Haley and it got him thru rough times. Wow.. Lucas is being such a fag and he's not even on the damn show anymore! But the best gift comes from Skillz. He gives Jamie his old CD collection which includes 2 pac, Biggie, De La Soul... Now we get to hear Jamie quoting gangsta rap lyrics all season!

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