FINALLY. They're back. Not just for their crazy, lavish lifestyles & storylines, but also for their cute clothes & fashionable attire altogether to inspire me... yes, Gossip Girl is back! Here's how I feel about what our favorite characters did over the summer.
Blair & Chuck: Apparently the two have thoroughly enjoyed their honeymoon phase and because neither person wants to be boring, they've set up a little game to keep things interesting. This game consists of picking out a beautiful female model, or celebrity, or elite socialite that Chuck can flirt with. But before things get into cheat-territory, Blair gets to show up, yell, and humiliate the girl. He gets to exercise some testosterone, she gets to berate someone beneath her. Then, they themselves, get it on. Thus, they both win. Right? [I, for one, think it's deliciously cute but then again, I'm not exactly conventional with my own relationship-- so what do I know?] S points out to B, just as Nate points out to Chuck, that this can be a very dangerous, slippery slope type of game. Is this really fun for Blair? What if Chuck really cheats? What if it gets out of control? Obviously, these thoughts start to plague our favorite couple and they decide to stop playing despite some possible new conquests that keep coming their way. Their ultimate solution? A new game! One more conventional, but equally exciting... ROLE PLAY! Niice. We leave them as Blair pretends to be a disgruntled restaurant customer and Chuck pretends to be a waiter who'll make it up to her in every way possible. Is THAT not the CUTEST thing EVER?!?!?! I would have settled for the entire episode of Blair and Chuck role playing!! [Yes, I'm sick, I know.]
The Humphrey/VanDerWoodsen Family: At some point during summer vacay, Lily's Mom, aka Cece, got very sick and thus Lily is MIA from the entire episode. She's somewhere helping her mother get better, leaving Rufus to raise Dan, Lil J, and now Eric. But it couldn't have been that hard since they spent most of their time in the Hamptons and Lily left them all with an envelope of emergency money-- enough to probably put me through grad school. Dan's been adjusting well, since he now carries around a designer wallet full of benjamins inside. He even lies to Vanessa about catching a subway when in fact he is cruising around in a limo. (I can't blame him, V's a debbie downer IMO.) So now the family minus Lily (somewhere with Grandma) and Serena (who went to a nice little summer camp called Europe for the past 2 months) must deal with returning to the city, where they'll all be staying at Lily's until she gets back. Unfortunately, Serena returns from her trip at about the same time and is being hounded by the paparazzi. [enter Lady Gaga's catchy new song into my head] S spent her summer partying on dance tables, taking shots, hanging out with royalty at all the hip Euro clubs. You know, the kind of stuff S always does. Nothing new here, people. Despite Lil J and Eric's efforts to keep all of Serena's summer shenanigans (say that 3 times fast) from Rufus, it doesn't take long before he and Dan find out, with help from a plethora of tabloid magazines, blogs, etc. Truth is, Serena is just acting out because her real Daddy doesn't wanna see her. She originally started her summer in Europe trying to locate her father with the help of Carter Basin. But when they finally found him and she left him a thousand or so messages... NOTHING. So Daddy issues it is. You'd think S would be smarter and just get over it but apparently not. In fact, she just about loses her senses, makes a horse-riding exit scene at the Vanderbilt Polo Charity Benefit, has sex with Carter in the woods? somewhere, and then makes a phone call to Daddy VanDerWoodsen almost threateningly telling him she won't stop being a dumbass until she finally has his attention. Yes, ALL of that shit, in a desperate attempt to win Daddy's love. Meanwhile, poor Rufus is trying hard to keep the family dignity intact while Lily is away. So he actually uses the rest of the emergency money Lily left to buy all of Serena's tabloid worthy pictures... right about the same time we end with Serena making an appt with the paparazzi, making sure more of her pictures get posted on the net. No wonder Dan broke up with her at the end of Season 1. She IS a handful.
Nate: Still trying to piss off Grandpa Vanderbilt and rejecting his big family, because of the big family expectations that go along with it. He meets a cute girl on his summer vacay, and is making out with her in a helicopter, just before finding out she's actually from a political rival family. Cha-Ching! What a perfect way to flick off his family, by taking her to the the Vanderbilt Polo function in an effort to show his independence? Or defiance, more like it. I guess rich kids aren't very smart sometimes and think acting out is always the solution. While this plan doesn't exactly fail, it doesn't exactly seem to succeed either. And from the looks of it, Grandpa Vanderbilt just found a way to stick it to his political rival... by using Nate. Way to really cut those family ties, Archibald.
Vanessa: Still boring. Still a buzzkill. Still, I have to talk about her. She hooked up with Nate once in Prague on her summer vacay-- which is probably the highlight of her whole summer, IMO. She came back to NY and started hanging out at yet another coffee shop and is now trying to throw herself at Dan's would-be brother, that everyone thinks is dead. He's probably out to get revenge or something sneaky since he hasn't told anyone about his real parents or why he's in New York chumming it up with Dan's BFF. That, and he's shown holding his birth certificate and ominously telling his mother on the phone that he can't wait to do what he's been waiting to do in New York soon. He even gets V to invite herself (+1) to the Vanderbilt function where he's able to chit-chat with Rufus about his old band. Way to connect to your long lost father... just mention you like his music. Maybe that would've worked for Serena!
Still no sign of Georgina, Hilary Duff, or the guy that supposedly, is gonna kiss Chuck. A pretty tame premiere but Gossip Girl started out this way in the beginning of last season before things got progressively more exciting. Either way, its Gossip Girl! More deliciously evil fun is on the way for sure!
XOXO [i really missed signing with that over the summer],
Tube-alicious
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