Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Melrose Place S1E2 Recap: What's new you ask? Definitely NOT Riley's wardrobe. Yuk.

Oh, it is
sooo hard to be young, beautiful, and living in LA. Here's the new information we've learned about our trendy tenants (minus Riley, u'll see why) this week...

The douchebag cop from last week is now on
Auggie's tale. We discover (thru flashback) that Auggie has also slept with Sydney. [Man she gets around!] They met at an AA meeting, slept together for months, but stopped because Auggie wasn't taking the program very seriously and Syd "loved him too much to see him fail." His earlier alcoholism led to his ex-girlfriend dying in the middle of a knife-fight intended for a drunken Auggie one night at a bar. [Now that's a helluva story to tell in AA.] We also discover (thru flashback again) that Auggie DID see Sydney the night she died. He came over after work while David was past out drunk and found Sydney doing some coke. Guess sobriety didn't work out for her much. After the drama with Michael and being rejected by the father/son duo, Sydney was apparently all about revenge. She wasn't staying sober, she wasn't around, and she basically was not being there for Auggie like she promised to be. [In short, she was a really bad sponsor.] Auggie tries to control her little coke session but she goes all coke-head and even cuts him with a butcher knife to get her dope. Our flashback ends with Auggie in possession of the knife and yelling at Sydney. Do I think he did it? Not really. But I'm assuming the whole season is going to be about exploring EVERYONE's motives.

Ella is my new *favorite* character in all the new shows that have premiered so far. [Yes, I love her more than Mr. Schuester from Glee.] She lends people cute clothes. She isn't about to get fired over some stupid recession merger that puts her under a new, egoistic boss. She knows when and how to blackmail. She thinks fast. She can smoothly interrupt Jonah and Riley's stupid romantic moments with style and precision. She's "ballsy." She'd make a damn fine publicist in real life and is really starting to inspire yours truly. [It'd be awesome if she were somehow related to Heather Locklear's Amanda from the original Melrose Place.]

Violet is a mystery for very much of the episode. She tries to get a job as a hostess at the same hip restaurant Auggie works at, but is immediately rejected by the owner/manager when she shows up in a sad TGIF-like uniform. [This is LA, sweetie. Wear something from H&M at least!] She eventually seeks out Ella for a cute new outfit and comes back to the restaurant. This time around, she lands the hostess job in flash. She also spends some time in the community pool at odd hours of the night, only be-known to us by Jonah's surveillance camera footage (recently installed, upon Ella's request for the tenants' saftey). But the BIG jawdropper comes at the end when we discover (through flashback) that Violet actually came to Melrose to surprise Sydney! Coz Violet is actually Syd's long lost daughter!!!! Unfortunately, Syd's in some MAJOR denial. She claims she's NEVER had a child. Violet goes all psycho. [FINALLY! I've been waiting to see the psycho potential in Ashlee Simpson.] She even takes out a little trinket she made for "Mom" when she was 9 to show how long she's been searching for Sydney. Apparently, Violet has been through a whole lot to this point in finding Syd. And before Sydney can bolt, Violet tells her she won't be able to get away from Violet that easily... again. Niiice! Creepy orphan syndrome!!

Lauren is an idiot. And probably has one of the most ridiculous storylines on the show. [Which is really a shame because this actress did so well on BSG: RAZOR]. She is still hell bent on being a doctor-- but ass-deep in debt. Thus, after initially rejecting Toby's friend (who's willing to make another "donation" to her be-a-good-doctor by day, be-a-big-whore by night fund), she thinks it over and caves in again. She's also bad at lying about it, referring to it as a scholarship opportunity when Violet slyly brings it up in front of Ella. Unfortunately, Lauren's little date lands her at a party being attended by both Ella and David. So now she's actually been spotted on one of her little exploits. She has to pretend she's been seeing Pimp #2 for quite some time now in order to avoid further explanation of why she lied about staying home for the night.

Riley and Jonah are fuckin stupid. After arguing back and forth about Ella and Auggie and the need to tone down those opposite sex friendships respectively (since they're now engaged and wrongfully so, since they can't get over their childish, insipid jealousies), they end up making up the very next day. The only thing I can add to this development is that I still don't like Riley and OMG, what in the hell.... was she WEARING in her last scene?!!! An olive green, long, puffy, sleeved, super-blouse paired with wooden, dangly hoop earrings. And if that wasn't horrid enough... she tops off the whole outfit by wearing some fucking bellbottom jeans!?!!? UGH. So gross, I wanted to scream.

David is still stealing and we find he used to be trailer trash till his dying mother told him about his rich dad, Michael. Not much of a character development there, buddy. Better luck next episode!

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