Sunday, September 20, 2009

The 61st Primetime Emmy Awards Commentary: Uh, I'll be honest. Only read if ur bored.

8:01 NPH!! Dr. Horrible!! Looking dapper and singing! Niiice!

8:06 Kanye joke! "Hopefully Kanye likes 30 Rock."

8:09 Being thoroughly entertained by this Comedy reel.

8:12 All the supporting actress nominees for Comedy Series are donning glasses... except Vanessa Williams! Coz her part in the whole bit is that she's too glam for that shit. Which is why she's awesome. Kristin Chenoweth wins!! [Go Glenda!] She's cute, crying, and in the midst of it all promoting her interest in shows such as The Office and Mad Men.

8:14 Cat Deeley! She announces the nominees for Breakthrough Moment on TV (viewers get to vote!). Nominees include... Chuck says I Love You to Blair!!! (that's my choice!), True Blood-the scene where the lovers first meet, and American Idol-Kris Allen wins.

8:21 It's Willow! Jason Segal! and the rest of How I Met Your Mother cast

8:22 Matt Hubbard for 30 Rock wins for Best Writing in a Comedy Series-- big surprise there.

8:24 Someone won the best seats in the house but its behind two Harlem Globetrotters. Yeah... that joke was lost on me too.

8:26 Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series... this is a hard one... the winner is.. Jon Cryer!? Really!??! WTF!? Against NPH, Tracy Morgan, Rainn Wilson???! Do people really watch Two and A Half Men?!

8:33 Justin Timberlake!!! Ooooh Weeeee!! Cute nerdy glasses. He's presenting for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. Funny girls turn him on. Justin, call me, I'm funny, I swear.

8:35 Toni Collette wins and I'm sure she deserves it. She's a great character actress though I don't ever really watch anything she's been on, except Little Miss Sunshine and Emma. Sidenote: Sarah Silverman was hilarious donning a mustache.

8:38 Gossip Girls Serena and Blair!!! To announce the Outstanding Guest Actor & Actress on a Comedy series awards. JT and Tina Fey win!!

8:42 Serena Vanderwoodsen stutters as she announces the winner for Best Director in a Comedy Series

8:48 Senator McCalister aka Rob Lowe is presenting for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. The nominees are Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell, Jemaine Clement, Jim Parsons, Tony Shalhoub, Charlie Sheen.

8:51 Alec Baldwin is the winner! He thanks Lorne Michaels. Damn, Tina Fey and JT thanked him too. I need to call him for a job.

8:54 Sort of dumbfounded by that Family Guy bit in which Stewie beats the crap out of Brian, the dog.

8:55 Its the reality TV reel. AKA all the crazy, insipid, ridiculous people who make TV look bad.

8:56 Dancers perform a dance to that damn "On Top of the World" song.

8:58 Best Host in a Reality Series. I can't believe Cat Deeley isn't nominated. Jeff Probst wins for Survivor. I could care less.

9:07 Award for Best Reality Competition Program goes to... The Amazing Race. I get up and go pee because they win this damn award every year.

9:09 Movies and Miniseries reel. I haven't seen any of them. I'm ashamed.

9:12-9:15 Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick announce Outstanding Supporting Actor & Actress in a Miniseries. The lady from that movie the Lake House wins. She played a doctor. Shoreh Agda-something. Outstanding Supporting Actor in a miniseries goes to Ken Howard-- who makes the second Kanye joke. "...I'm hoping I wont be interrupted by a Senator or Rapper."

9:22 Chandra Wilson and Kate Walsh announce the nominees for Outstanding Lead Actor. Brendan Gleeson wins! That's Mad-Eye Moody to you Harry Potter fans!

9:26 Jennifer Love Hewitt & Patricia Arquette present for Outstanding Writing in a Miniseries. Emmy goes to Andrew Davies for Little Dorrit! Never heard of it but That's the writer of Bridget Jones Diary! Outstanding Director in a Miniseries goes to.. Dearbhla Walsh for Little Dorrit also wins! Sorry, I don't know her at all.

9:30 People are going to tell us how the ballots are tallied. But... We're interrupted by Dr. Horrible!!!! YES!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!! He's righteously hijacked television! And a hilarious blog about how the internet is taking over TV ensues. That might have been the most exciting thing we see tonight.

9:33 Alec Baldwin presents Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries. The Emmy goes to... Jessica Lange for Grey Gardens!

9:36 Jessica Lange thanks co-star Drew Barrymore and when cut to a shot of her, we see the awesome Justin Long. Guess they're officially back together.

9:42 Outstanding Made for TV Movie goes to Grey Gardens. I think I'll be looking for this Miniseries online tonight.

9:45 Outstanding Miniseries goes to Little Dorritt. Add that to my list.

9:47 Variety Reel opens with the SNL clip of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing Hilary Clinton and girllllllll

9:50 Award for Outstanding Direction in a Variety, Music, or Comedy Show goes to Bruce Gowers for American Idol.

9:52 Writing for the same category nominees are creatively announced by Billy Crystal, Facebook, and clunker vehicles among other things. The Emmy goes to The Daily Show.

10:33 Angel and that other Vampire from True Blood announce the nominees for Guest Actor and Actress. Ellen Burstyn and Michael J Fox win and are going to present for Best Director in a Dramatic Series. Winner is....Rod Holcom for ER. Boo.. BSG didn't win.

10:35 Writing for a Drama Series. If this doesn't go to Lost--- MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT! It went to Mad Men. UGh... I can't even be that mad at it since I watch Mad Men too!

10:39 Simon Baker presents for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. Glenn Close, Sally Fields, Mariska Hargitay, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Moss, Kyra Sedgwick. Emmy goes to Glenn Close. I'm still surprised Elizabeth Moss was nominated.

10:41 Again, where the hell is Elizabeth Mitchell's nomination for playing Juliet?!!?

10:49 Outstanding Lead Actor in Drama series goes to Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad. I'm sorry but I've never heard of it. Jon Hamm and Hugh Laurie had my vote.

10:51 The last two awards: Best Comedy and Best Drama Series [Thank god, it's almost over.]

10:52 Bob Newhart is presenting and talking about kissing Tina Fey. That sounds creepy to me. Stop! I love you Bob Newhart!

10:54 Bob Newhart is finally showing the nominees. Comedy is first. The Emmy goes to.... 30 Rock. Oh god, does this mean a kiss from Tina Fey? Thankfully, no. I've realized I don't care anymore. Move on to the Outstanding Drama series!

10:56 Oh wait! Breakthrough Moment goes to.... True Blood? FAIL. I'm tempted to turn off this TV but I've made it this far... Might as well see who wins the last award. Commercial Break?! Fuuccckkk.... Bejeweled time!

11:00 Final Award presented by Sigourney Weaver. Nominees are: Big Love, Breaking Bad, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, Mad Men. I better not be disappointed. Mad Men wins!!!! I'm ok with that. One of the Three I voted for.

11:03 Thank God it's over.

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