We open with Kurt and friends performing yet another impression of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" music video-- it's even shot in black and white. Unfortunately, they're busted by Kurt's Dad (perfectly played by Mike O'Malley), who's home early so he can see the latest episode of Deadliest Catch. In an effort to address the gay elephant in the room, Kurt makes up a story that he's simply working out. He explains that the unitard he's wearing is actually the new "jock chic." His lie snowballs into a story about making the high school football team as the new kicker. His Dad seems to approve and it seems like crisis is averted until Dad mentions he wants a ticket to Kurt's first game... So Kurt gets help from Finn for an audition to be the new kicker. At the actual tryout, Kurt wants to use his music. Finn tells Kurt he cant channel Beyonce for the tryout in front of all the guys or he'll never be taken seriously. Kurt simply says that he's a "chocolate rum souffle." If he's not warmed up properly, he'll never rise. Hee. And so a fabulous Single Ladies inspired kick occurs (aka an impressive field goal) which wins him a spot on the team.
Meanwhile, stakes grow higher for Sue whose local tv segment is in danger of being cancelled if she doesn't win Cheer Nationals. It doesn't help that rumor has it she's losing all the best cheerleaders to Glee. So, she visits Sandy-- who struts around his house in a kimono while talking to his doll collection. Clearly, he needs purpose in his life so she offers him an Art Director position at school. This way he has final say over all art departments-- including Glee. Their first order of operation is to steal Glee's main talent, Rachel. Which isn't too hard since she's butt hurt, fresh off the disappointment of losing the part of Maria in West Side Story to Tina. Will explains to her that she cant always be the center of attention in Glee (for like the millionth time) or the others will just kick back and let her pick up all the slack. That type of uneven group participation will never get them to win competitions. She's stubborn and in the end quits Glee to join Sandy's new production instead.
Terri is still faking her pregnancy and now being egged on by her mean-spirited sister, who suggests all she needs to do is find a baby to pass off as her own. Lucky for her... Quinn drops some big news: she's pregnant. When she tells Finn, he's stunned, especially because she claims it happened during a hot tub session in which his strong sperm swam their way to victory despite them both having their swimsuits on. Finn panics and seeks aid from Mr. Schuester. He tells Mr. S he knows what happens to guys who have kids early-- they become trapped. Finn doesn't want that to happen to himself. Since he's not smart, he must depend on a football scholarship in order to go to college. To get a scholarship, the football team needs to win games-- which they're not doing. He thinks the football team needs to loosen up like how Mr. Schuester taught him and Puck to loosen up for Acafellas. In short, Finn is asking Will to teach the team how to dance in hopes it'll make them better, like how it worked for Kurt. Mr. S says he'll see what he can do even though Tanaka will probably not go for it. Later that night, Will tells Terri about Quinn and Finns situation and a light bulb goes off! Terri pays Quinn a visit the very next day, pointing out she's nowhere near ready to have a baby. But not before we find out that Finn isn't REALLY the father of Quinn's baby!! Turns out, it's Puck's! Apparently, he convinced Quinn to have sex while drunk off winecoolers on a day she felt fat. When Puck finds out about the pregnancy via Finn, he finds Quinn to tell her he doesn't wanna be a deadbeat dad like his own father. But she's quick to tell him he'll always be a loser and wants nothing to do with him. She's better off with Finn.
At the football game... and they suck! Until Finn convinces the team to do the dance they've been practicing with Mr. S. And that dance is.... Single Ladies! AGAIN! They finally do the number, because they have no other options, and once they begin... the other team is incredibly confused. The crowd starts dancing... hell, even members of the other team start dancing. And just when they've got everyone hooked... they start the final play, which is a far pass to Puck... and TOUCHDOWN!!!! Now the score is 6-6 with no more time left. All Kurt has to do is kick the field goal and they'll win the game! I'll give u one guess as to what his music is while kicking the winning field goal... Single Ladies!! (that's 4 times now people!) Everyone celebrates including Finn and Quinn who kiss on the sidelines as Puck watches from afar. At the very end, Kurt finally tells his dad that he's gay. Much to his surprise... his dad already knows. In fact he's known since Kurt was 3 and all he wanted for his bday were some sensible heels.
***Not as much singing this episode... Rachel does a little bit of Celine's "Taking Chances" and Tina's "Tonight" solo is also just an excerpt. But there is...a lot, lot, lot of Beyonce's Single Ladies! uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....::pointing at my ring finger::